Monday, February 21, 2011

Just Another Saturday

Excuse me, did you know that this area is off limits to dogs?

Did you know that I don't care?

Hi, I was wondering if you could stop your dog from flushing these Brant?

Fuck you

Good afternoon. Any Chance you could leash that dog?

No. Any chance you could go fuck yourself?

Sir, that is a protected species you are throwing rocks at.

Yeah, would you rather I came over there and hit you?

Hi, I was wondering if I could talk to you about those geese you just flushed?

What? Geese? Those are seagulls and I want them all off this beach.

You need to leash that dog.

Come over here and make me!

Do you kids realize how much damage it does to run into flocks of birds like that?


Get away from my kids you bastard!

Hi folks. Do you think there is any chance you could walk around that flock of Brant instead of flushing them?

No. And you can go fuck yourself.

Did you know that urging your dog to chase those birds is a violation of at least three different laws, and can net you some serious fines?

Yeah, well show me a badge or shut the fuck up.

Excuse me, but would it be possible to stop your dog from chasing those Brant?

Hey! Everybody hates Canadian Geese so fuck off!

Sir, it's illegal to allow a dog off leash in a Provincial Park, and it's even worse to urge it to chase birds.

Up yours! Parks are for people!

Hi, could I talk to you a minute about what you just did to those Brant?

No. Go to hell.

Hi, do you think you could step back about 50 feet so the Brant could come in and feed?

Oh for Christs sake. You wanna fucking go? Huh? Come on! You wanna go? Come on!

Sir, if you give me a chance I can explain exactly why it's important not to harass these birds.

You don't get it do you? The NDP lost, and we don't have to put up with this bullshit anymore.


Barbara Bruederlin said...

I love how it's the NDP's fault! How you managed to refrain from popping someone is beyond me.

Abu Anka said...

I have heard similar variations on that one several times. I never considered the NDP to be terribly good stewards of the environment, so I always just scratch my head.

So far so good when it comes to restraint. As the years wear on, my patience is wearing out though.

Ryan Cathers said...

Ha! It is fascinating at some points what people come up with. I like the NDP one though

~Jen~ said...

ha ha haaaaa omg...plz start wearing a wire to record this stuff and post it somewhere

Abu Anka said...

Im not even sure about going back out there...

Cathy said...

dress in a giant bird suit and break into someones house...keep their kids from getting to the fridge and see if they think its funny.... the birds gotta eat...what the hell is so hard about that that they don't get it.

Abu Anka said...

Ha! I have threatened to do exactly that a few times!

When I'm giving presentations to schools, I usually put it this way;
What if, every time you walked into the kitchen, there was a Grizzly standing next to the cupboard where the cereal is, and a Cougar standing next to the fridge where the milk is? How would you get your breakfast?

Dave Ingram said...

This is exactly why I stopped working for BC Parks. As a PFO we could only "educate" the unwilling.


Abu Anka said...

Sorry to hear that Dave. I can only imagine what that would be like. I do hear it all the time from the folks who work at Rathtrevor, and I know it drives them batty.
It's pretty obvious that the BC gLibs have created a parks model for BC that is designed to fail, so that it can then be privatized. Just like BC Ferries, BC Hydro, schools, and health care.